grey

a push and the electricity of rage
unstops the pebble that kept it all apart
future and past
am i a fool to think that i will move freely
from this circular river
a vortex

we are (are we) the product of our choices
so what to choose
break solemn vows whispered under the bangs and bickering
the thousand hail mary's
and the belief that
freedom lay ahead

so then what will i become
with these choices or non choices
i hoped our love could liberate us
but so did they
the black and white of blue
victim storm
the shame and silence
what to do what to do
the shame of telling
what difference will it make

our safe place is gone
dreams from underwater
my legs tremble
i fill my lungs with smoke
i have not cried yet
will i ever

and the dark paralyzed fear seeps in dank crannies
what can i hope for now
can i forgive
can we move on
should we move on
will it happen again
how can i stop it